Lilly, Lilly!

Jamie was struggling a little after losing her job after 5 years. Her savings was just about gone, and it had been 6 months since she lost her job. Jobs were scarce, her mother had recently passed away, things weren’t looking up for her.  The only person who could keep her sane was Lilly.

Lilly was her best friend in the world. They saw each other every day; sometimes three and four times a day. Jamie couldn’t go a day without talking to Lilly. However, sometimes she felt as though  Lilly ignored her. Especially when she was asking for advice. Jamie would call on other friends from time to time, but she didn’t feel as close of a connection with them as she did with Lilly.

One Saturday evening, Jamie couldn’t pry her self from the pillows of her California King bed. The reality of everything was weighing heavily on her. She couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of loneliness and felling a little low on self worth. She couldn’t understand why she couldn’t get another job right away. She had three degrees, she was the best paralegal in her area. ” My life is just shitty right now,” she whispered.

She crawled out of bed to get to the bathroom. She made it to the toilet just in time. “How ironic,” she mumbled. As she sat there reflecting on the irony of having diarrhea and how her life was going she began to burst into to tears.  She drew her some water to relax in some hot water.

She gets in the tub, lays her head back on a towel and closes her eyes. She reflects on the moments prior to her downward spiral. She see’s her mom on a picnic date she surprised her with one day after work. A tear falls. Somewhere  while relaxing and reflecting, she lost herself in sleep.

“Lilly, I need you. Can we talk?”yellow-lillies

Lilly doesn’t respond. Jamie continues to say what’s on her mind any way.

“I feel so alone and unworthy of finding happiness. Why is everything going so wrong? What have I done to deserve all of this? Lilly, why me? Why now? And why the hell are you ignoring me?”

As Jamie stands there taking on her reflection, Lilly speaks to her for the first time. 

“Jamie, you posses all that you need to be abundantly happy in this world. What you feel is so negative is actually your cleansing process. You first have know you’re worth however. You are worthy of things far beyond your wildest dreams. I’m not ignoring you, I’m only here as a reminder of what all is important in your life. And it seems you have forgotten the importance of self love. Dig deeper! get back to you and everything else will fall into place. “

Jamie awoke and sat up breathing heavily. She looked around. She was alone and still in the tub. She looked at the mirror, and “Lilly” was written in the steam filled mirror.

-KJ-

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Author: KaeJaye Xpressions

I am a 2010 Mass Communication and Journalism graduate (BA) of Southeastern Louisiana University. I am also a 2016 English and Creative Writing Graduate (MA) of Southern New Hampshire University. I value words like no other. Words seem to pour out the depths of my soul of which I as a human have not yet dared to venture to. I appreciate pen, because it reaches beyond the boundaries that have been set by my more humanly self. I'm in love with paper or a blank screen, because it is the most beautiful canvas ever created by man.

2 thoughts on “Lilly, Lilly!”

  1. Hello KaeJaye, I really like the message you highlighted with this. Many of us often look for the answers to our problems outside ourselves when some of them can be fixed by looking within ourselves if we just dig deep. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

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